1843 on May the 1st Jack married Jill and then the next day bears came and attacked there village. So they ran and ran until they thought they were safe not knowing if anyone else was save. Then Jill told Jack that she was dying. Jack was stunned to hear that his wife was dying. Then he heard a noise. Then they sprang on them. They were scared because out of the bushes a pack a wolves surrouded them and attacked them. They just made it out ran to the nearest village. They never made it.
Jack and Jill’s best friends Mike and Juliet ran as well and had escaped and and went to the closest village they made it but the village had found Jack and Jill’s body well what was left of them. So they buried there body side by side. Well Mike and Juliet live long then died at a old age. The end.
Feedback= I think that it was really good and it was suprising in some bits.
ReplyDeleteFeed forward= You could make the story a bit longer and add in some more descriptive words.
Harriet
It was a good story but you need to make the story make more sence
ReplyDeletei enjoyed your story. but you could expand your story because it was very interesting.
ReplyDelete