It was 3:00 pm in the year 31,000 when Will hopped into his boat and started to
paddle into the middle of the harbour. He was paddling for half and hour.
By the time he had reached the middle it was 3:30 pm.
paddle into the middle of the harbour. He was paddling for half and hour.
By the time he had reached the middle it was 3:30 pm.
Will started to fish and he court 10 fish and then got his biggest and last catch for the
rest of his life. He was pulling and pulling and trying to hold on to his rod and the his
catch started to pull harder then Will. and then…
Will went tumbling into the water. And then the shark pulled him to the bottom of the
sea and he drowned.
rest of his life. He was pulling and pulling and trying to hold on to his rod and the his
catch started to pull harder then Will. and then…
Will went tumbling into the water. And then the shark pulled him to the bottom of the
sea and he drowned.
it was an interisting story
ReplyDeleteyou also need to remember to format your story.
also you need to work on you ending because it made it lest interisting then it could of been
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ReplyDeleteKia ora. I am Lily from Gisborne Intermediate School.
ReplyDeleteI really liked the creative side of your story.
I learnt that Will should get stronger and maybe he would have lived longer.
Maybe you could fix your spelling.
Please visit my blog
here
Mā te wā
Lily
thank you for the feedback will work on my spelling
ReplyDelete